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My name is Joe Calderone and I was an asshole. He then proceeds to feed us the most well written three minutes of spoken word I have ever seen

Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and place it in the fridge for an hour or two before serving

This is seriously the best broccoli salad recipe ever

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This homemade dressing can be made up to 5 days in advance and stored in the refrigerator until ready to use -- just make sure to give it a good shake before using.